Day 5: Book I Wish I Could Live In

I had to think about this for a while, but then it came to me, and it seemed so obvious. The book I wish I could live in is The Great Gatsby. Of course. Set in 1922 in the West Egg district of Long Island, who would not want to be part of Jay Gatsby’s extravagant parties?

In fact, in high school AP English, we threw a “Gatsby Party.” Naturally, I moaned and groaned and did not take full advantage of such a wonderful opportunity. I completely missed a legitimate chance for fun in a short skirt, a tad too much makeup, and general disdain for social norms and behaviors. Not to mention, jazz. I love jazz.

So Fitzgerald portrays the era enveloped by decayed social and moral values? But the “American Dream,” in which any person from any social bracket was still alive, and almost possible. Nick explains Fitzgerald’s idea that the American dream was originally about discovery, individualism, and the pursuit of happiness. Then Americans became disillusioned after World War I, resulting in the desire for easy money and relaxed morality. Call me crazy, but I guess nothing has changed.

So if I get to have a disillusioned dream of my own, I would love to be living that dream in a swanky home, close enough to attend Gatsby’s parties, but far enough not to have to become irreversibly situated within the plot of the story, alas I become as cynical as Jordan Baker.

Day 4: Book That Makes Me Cry

There are a handful of books that have made me cry, and not because I was laughing so hard that tears streamed down my cheeks. I mean really cry. Oh, how reading can be cathartic! The first time I remember crying while reading a book was when I read Gone With the Wind.

But when I hear “Book That Makes Me Cry,” my mind skips to The Green Mile by Stephen King. A group of my close friends and I all read it when we were in high school. And all of us cried. Then we went to see the movie when it came out. This was when Fredericksburg still had one of  the few single screen movie theaters left in the US. It’s a real shame that they turned it into another shoppe. There are plenty of places to buy crap clothes and antiques there, but only a few towns can claim old theaters. That’s beside the point. Thankfully, either Dana or Amanda had the foresight to bring a box of tissues with her. A regular sized box, which we shamelessly passed up and down the aisle.

The novel switches between two old people discussing Paul’s time as a guard on Death Row, known as The Green Mile because of it’s eery green linoleum flooring. Paul specifically recalls John Coffey, a giant black man convicted and sentenced for raping and murdering two white girls. He didn’t do it. And it turns out, he was trying to revive the girls when he was arrested. King throws some magic into the mix by giving John a mysterious healing ability, which comes in handy more than once. Sorry about the spoiler, but if you haven’t read it or seen it by now, I can’t help you.

John’s the character who got to me. Despite his size, he has a sweet heart and is constantly crying. He is so terrified by the dark that he requests that Paul not put the black hood over his head when he is electrocuted.

Del, another inmate, who happens to have a pet mouse named Mr. Jingles, also incited an emotional turmoil within me.

I suppose these two guys wouldn’t have taken such an intense toll on me without the help of Percy. As the governor’s nephew, Percy is allowed to remain a guard even though he is terrible and sadistic. I was bawling by the time he stomped on Mr. Jingles, and I was ready to jump into the book and kill him when he sabotaged Del’s execution. Again, sorry for the spoiler. Before his own execution, John does get revenge on Percy, and that made me feel a little bit better.

“I’m tired of people bein ugly to each other. It feels like pieces of glass in my head. I’m tired of all the times I’ve wanted to help and couldn’t. I’m tired of bein in the dark. Mostly it’s the pain. There’s too much. If I could end it, I would. But I can’t.” -John Coffey, The Green Mile

Day 3: Book That Makes Me LOL

Several years and three children (hers, not mine) ago, my friend Robin introduced me to a very hilarious man, David Sedaris.  Okay, neither of us actually knows him, but she strongly suggested that I read Me Talk Pretty One Day. So I borrowed her copy. And I laughed so hard I cried. I may have even peed a little. I returned the book to Robin, and promptly bought my own copy. I enjoyed it that much. I read it again. I would have read it a third time, but I’ve lent it to every person I know, and I have no idea where it is now. Me Talk Pretty One Day remains on my Wish List on Amazon.

“I’m the most important person in the lives of almost everyone I know and a good number of the people I’ve never even met.”  David Sedaris

I have heard it argued that David Sedaris is only appealing to women and gay men. Not so, my friends. I know of several very straight men who really enjoyed Me Talk Pretty One Day. Of course, several of them keep that under wraps for fear of the mocking which they believe would ensue. Get over it. Or don’t. Keep it in your night drawer with your other socially embarrassing goods. But read it.

“I spent months searching for some secret code before I realized that common sense has nothing to do with it. Hysteria, psychosis, torture, depression: I was told that if something is unpleasant it’s probably feminine. This encouraged me, but the theory was blown by such masculine nouns as murder, toothache, and rollerblade. I have no problem learning the words themselves, it’s the sexes that trip me up and refuse to stick.” -Me Talk Pretty One Day

This book is not so much a novel as a collection of stories from various phases of David’s life. He recounts his trials as a youth, marked by a speech therapist who desperately tried to cure David’s lisp, accompanied by a series of “de-gaying” tactics.  When his OCD takes over, I could barely breath (because I was laughing so hard) as he licked the light switch in his childhood classroom.

There is also some toilet humor, and if you are easily offended, this book is probably not for you. Robin and I enjoy toilet humor, especially The Poopie List .(This is not the comprehensive list we discovered in high school. The original list had me laughing so hard that no sound was able to escape my mouth.)

“Everyone had taken their places, when I excused myself to visit the bathroom, and there, in the toilet, was the absolute biggest turd I have ever seen in my life – no toilet paper or anything, just this long and coiled specimen, as thick as a burrito.”  -Me Talk Pretty One Day

The chapter devoted to David’s brother, affectionately called Rooster, is one of my favorites. Poor, redneck, Rooster, the product of declining parental discipline. Vulgar and crass, yet somehow loveable. I am not including a quote from this chapter, because all of the good ones contain multiple obscenities.

It has been years since I’ve read Me Talk Pretty One Day, and I really need to read it again. Soon. David’s neurotic family would definitely give Chelsea Handler’s (I love her books) a run for their money.

“I can’t promise I’ll never kill anyone again,” he once said, strapping a refrigerator to his back. “It’s unrealistic to live your life within such strict parameters” -Me Talk Pretty One Day

Day 2: My Least Favorite Book

I haven’t posted in a few days. I’m not going to lie; I really had to think about this. I love nearly every book I read, and the books that I don’t love, I don’t necessarily hate. While today’s title is not The Book I Hate, I kind of feel like labeling a book as My Least Favorite Book is almost like saying that I hated it.

I don’t read a lot of fiction, and when I do, I prefer Salinger or Vonnegut. Jacqueline Susann is my dirty little secret. Having said that, I like Stephen King. I think he’s an excellent writer. Both The Green Mile and Shawshank Redemption moved me to tears. Pet Cemetery and The Shining scared the bejesus out of me. So, I grabbed Tommyknockers out of my Mom’s Kleiderschrank,

My Dad paid $100 for this in 1979. It was broken and painted white, but it's solid walnut. He was worried sick that he wasted his money.

in which she has her own small personal library.

Huge disappointment. I didn’t even get through the first half. My mom warned me; she told me exactly why she didn’t think I would like it. She was right (when are Moms ever wrong???).

Well, the book started out okay. There’s something a little off -the guy uncovers a strange metal object in the middle of the countryside. I was hoping against hope that it wouldn’t be a spaceship. Vonnegut’s so-labeled sci-fi I like; I think it’s his writing style. And even Vonnegut said that the only reason his writing was labeled as science fiction, was because he wrote about technology. He also said not writing about technology misrepresents current(ish) life as much as the Victorians misrepresented their lives by not writing about sex.

I’m not big on aliens, although I wouldn’t mind actually seeing one. But I seriously doubt I ever will, unless it’s some manufactured scheme by the US Government joking (kind of)… I could’ve gotten over the aliens. But then there was the suggestion of nuclear radiation and fallout. Come on. I’m not going to get on a soapbox, but nuclear radiation poisoning? Really? Sidenote: I was a mechanic in the Navy, and I was on a nuclear aircraft carrier. (I did a lot of cleaning -my nails suffered from lack of manicures for many years but not once was I overexposed to radiation.) Totally safe.

Even if you’re anti-nuclear power, the “radiation poisoning” symptoms described in the book are not realistic. I know you’re thinking-what part of this book is suppose to be realistic??

Something about the whole thing just irked me. I could’ve accepted some sort of zombie-like progression in which the aliens or infected individuals bit or scratched other people. Again, unrealistic, I know. I didn’t even read far enough to find out what Tommyknockers are. I guess I was hoping for scary boogeymen going door to door or something.

So feel free to share your opinions. I would love a good synopsis from someone who actually enjoyed the book. Or at least made it to the end.

Day 1: My Favorite Book

This 30 Day Challenge is already proving difficult for me. I have a very hard time thinking of books in terms of absolutes. I love almost every book I read. Of course, I love different books in different ways, so trying to pick just one single book as my favorite book is quite arduous. After long thought (probably more time than a normal person should have spent thinking about her favorite book), I decided my favorite book, if I must pick just one, is probably The Catcher in the Rye.

The single point that helped me to decide is the simple fact that I’ve read and reread The Catcher in the Rye more than any other book. It may be because it is one of the books that I have owned for the longest number of years; it may be because it is a relatively short and easy read; or it may be because I somehow find it comforting and can relate to Holden’s confusion and cynical sense of society. Probably the latter two.

When I say “easy” read, I mean that while it has motifs, underlying themes, etc., it is written in what I call Salinger style– simple sentences that somehow form an excellent story line and are still able to say so much more.

“What really knocks me out is a book that, when you're all done reading it, you wish the author that wrote it was a terrific friend of yours and you could call him up on the phone whenever you felt like it. That doesn't happen much, though.” ― J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye

I actually got The Catcher in the Rye from my uncle for my 13th or 14th birthday. (I also got Winesburg, Ohio from him, and to this day, have not read it. I probably should. I hear it’s good.) It sat on my bookshelf for a few years. I didn’t know anything about JD Salinger or the novel. I love JD Salinger. I’ve read nearly all of his work. I did not know that Mark David Chapman carried a copy of the book when he shot John Lennon. I did not know that John Hinkley Jr had a copy on him when he attempted to assassinate Ronald Reagan. And I only learned this past fall, while on the Dearly Departed Tour in LA, that Robert John Bardo was reading it just minutes before he shot and killed Rebecca Schaeffer. And let me tell you, it is a huge, HUGE disappointment. Because I love the book. And I have never had homicidal thoughts. Well, that I’ve followed through on. –Joking– Seriously, it really bums me out that it was previously banned from the libraries and reading lists, and has caught such a bad wrap throughout the last few decades.

I’ve digressed. I intended to explain how I feel that I relate to Holden because I, too, have a habit of not exploring my emotions and blaming the phoniness of adults, instead of admitting that I am terrified of adulthood (although I am well into adulthood). Although I do not consider myself superior, I do tend to isolate myself for my own preservation. And now I’ve run out of time…the 9 month old girl I sit for is becoming very mobile and is now trying to climb the cat’s scratching post.

30 Days in Books

I initially envisioned my blog as being insightful, witty, maybe even philosophical. So far, it has been none of these. Today I stumbled upon Beverly Penn’s Blog, in which she challenges herself to remember her reactions to books she’s read. Since reading is probably the one thing I can definitely say that I love doing, and in fact, could not live without doing (besides breathing, eating, blah, blah) I think that this is an appropriate activity. I cannot conceive of completing the list within the given time allocation, but I look forward to really considering each book I’ve read and truly remembering what I learned from it. And, to be honest, after almost every book I read, I swear that I will reread it because it has, in some way, made such an impact on me. The rereading does not happen as often as I would like, so hopefully, I can recap the highlights here. Happy Reading!

Day 1: Favorite book
Day 2: Least favorite book
Day 3: Book that makes you laugh out loud
Day 4: Book that makes you cry
Day 5: Book you wish you could live in
Day 6: Favorite young adult book
Day 7: Book that you can quote/recite
Day 8: Book that scares you
Day 9: Book that makes you sick
Day 10: Book that changed your life
Day 11: Book from your favorite author
Day 12: Book that is most like your life
Day 13: Book whose main character is most like you
Day 14: Book whose main character you want to marry
Day 15: First “chapter book” you can remember reading as a child
Day 16: Longest book you’ve read
Day 17: Shortest book you’ve read
Day 18: Book you’re most embarrassed to say you like
Day 19: Book that turned you on
Day 20: Book you’ve read the most number of times
Day 21: Favorite picture book from childhood
Day 22: Book you plan to read next
Day 23: Book you tell people you’ve read, but haven’t (or haven’t actually finished)
Day 24: Book that contains your favorite scene
Day 25: Favorite book you read in school
Day 26: Favorite nonfiction book
Day 27: Favorite fiction book
Day 28: Last book you read
Day 29: Book you’re currently reading
Day 30: Favorite coffee table book